My mind loves you Lord, but does that mean anything if my heart isn’t in it too?
My mind loves you Lord, but now I’m lost in thought
Cause I’m following my heart and its tearing me apart
I’ve been looking over scriptures like I’m reading in the dark
Now my mind and heart fighting, mixing love with martial arts
I know there is a God, but that don’t solve my prob
Cause I’ve learned to play church and now it’s feeling like a job
And I’m not feeling or hearing your presence in my life
It’s like posting all my feelings and I’m waiting on a Like
In my alarm I said, “I am cut off from your sight!”
I’m trying to pump the brakes while I’m falling off the bike
I’m holding on by a thread, the opposite of fall is prideful
And “I hate those who cling to worthless idols”
Is it the fear of hell, cause of the consequence of sin?
Is it the pain I always feel that only God can end?
Is it desires for better things, cause I see other’s lives as a lottery?
“I am forgotten as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery”
My feelings are an ocean, and pain drowns me in that sea
“Keep me free from the trap that is set for me”
Cause my heart is conflicted, doubting God is an addiction
But “I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction”
How abundant are the good things, that you have stored up for those who fear you
Cause I’ve been sick so long my eyes start to hear you
“For he showed me the wonders of his love when I was in a city under siege”
Now I’m working for the King like a crab under the sea
Ears, Eyes, Mind, Heart and soul, but which one is me
“My eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief”
“My strength fails because of my affliction and my bones grow weak”
It was never the Heart vs. the Mind, it was Me vs. Me
That’s why I have to say to God “Be merciful to me”
“Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me”
“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord”
His word is a sword and cuts disease to the core
I’ve Psalmed all my problems, because Psalms seems to solve them
When your whole body is sick, the mind and heart is not the only problem
Credits:
Photography by Etty Fidele