We aren't cavemen anymore. There was a time when a man would see a woman he liked, bonk her over the head, and when she woke up, she was married. Thankfully for everyone, clubbing means something far more enjoyable in modern times. Unfortunately for all of us, the contemporary dating pool isn't only shallow, but contemporary Neanderthals keep peeing in it. If you're single in the 20th century, congrats, you're still alive, but here's what you should do to see your love life thrive.
The Theory
I have found that human relationships are made of two fundamental yet proportional desires.
Physical traits we find attractive
Personalities we can stand to live with.
Hypothetically, let's say that the highest number that any ideal mate could have is 100% on the physical side and 100% on the personality side.
Personality entails our desired brand of humor, class, intellect, tidiness, parenting skill, etc. Physical includes characterize such as height, weight, skin color, etc.
There are two extremes, those who are so bent on physical that they only want 100% and could care less about personality, and the man who doesn't care at all about physical and is 100% for personality. Most men fall somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. An average man might determine that he wants a girl with at least %75 physical and a 60% personality. However, he is willing to take a girl who is a %85 physical and % 50 personality because he may feel her physical attractiveness makes up for her lack of character. The reverse is true, as well.
What's Your Standard?
Naturally, you should be wondering what your desired numbers would be if you quantified them. Before that, though, there is something you have to do that is not so fun. Determine what an objective person would say about you in each of those same categories.
It's natural for us to want someone who is "out of our league," but what about the people in our league that we exclude out of hypocrisy? Most guys agree with me when I say I really want a girl who stays in shape because I stay in shape but stop the press and all cosign when I reveal that I'd date a girl who's has slept with just as many people as I have.
Of course, as a man, I want the number to be the closest to zero as possible, but my body count certainly isn't that. So, if she has that exact amount, who am I to judge? If I don't want a girl with my number, all other things held constant, why would a girl with a lesser number want me? Women and men like to be ticky-tacky when it comes to when and where they want a "two-way street" and often wouldn't take a second look at the opposite sex version of themselves.
Take it Personal
If you want to start making deal breakers, start with the very worst you've done in every category. Strive for better if you want better or accept people who are doing just as badly as you at the very least. Could you date a woman as clean as you are, as honest as you are, and as funny as you are? If the answer is no, then that means that you either have to align your standards or elevate yourself to meet them.
I know some guys that skip showers from time to time, and they vehemently deride girls with similar habits. I always laugh because what would make someone who showers twice a day want to be with someone who doesn't even have the decency to take bird-baths? When you can use yourself as the standard for what you are looking for in a significant other, you will not only see immense personal growth, but your discernment for what is right and wrong for you will be much higher.
If you don't think you can give yourself an honest appraisal, ask a close friend or, better yet, an enemy. It's really simple when you get down to it. You want someone with a fantastic body right, well workout so that your amazing physique attracts them to you. Be the characteristics that you want to see, and the person meant for you will materialize. Until then, happy hunting!