Have you ever been stuck in a rut? You wake up, look around, and everything around you just seems uninspiring. Nothing is particularly wrong, but then again, nothing is particularly right. Meh... huh?... and whatever pretty much describes the last ten text messages that you've sent, and you're hoping that they catch the hint. "I don't want to talk to you today." better yet ever. Well, if you only feel like this on the 3rd blue moon during a leap year that has had two solar eclipses, chances are you don't need this article. But for those who found themselves in a social hibernation for no apparent reason, this is for you. You might want to take a shower before you read any further.
At the Office
So you hate your job, and guess what? You have just been informed that it hates you back. Terrible hours and an active-aggressive boss (opposite of passive-aggressive) keeps reminding you that you are no closer to your dream job than Mitt Romney is (actually, you may be closer than he is at this point). So there you are, at your desk. You've taken as many bathroom breaks as you possibly could, without drawing any unwanted suspicion. Now what? Truth be told, we suggest that you look around. If you look hard enough, I promise at least one person in the office feels exactly the way you do. Whether you both are planning your inevitable escape or just need someone to vent your frustrations with, someone will be there. Most likely, they're just trying to keep a low profile so that they can get by without any hassles, much like you. Besides, no one wants to go to the office Christmas party, and have no one to talk to.
Eating lunch by yourself for five years plus isn't only weird, but it's stifling. Co-workers are sometimes the best places to make new friends, especially for those who have problems with small talk. There is seriously an endless supply of material, and let's face it, you guys are stuck together....for awhile. There are holidays, birthdays, baby showers, and even funerals in which you are forced to acknowledge those around you. There is no use being a stick in the mud, especially when good work relationships can put your career on escalator mode instead of climbing the ladder. Relocation can be difficult for anybody, but often it's great co-workers that can give you awesome advice. I don't know what it is, but I don't necessarily like people knowing my full year's salary when I'm planning activities and checking for quotes.
In some cases, this hampers things because I may waste valuable time and money on things I can't really afford. This is an area where co-workers shine the most. They already have a great idea of your salary, and can give you some of the best advice you can get on housing, food, and nightlife. Covering for you on "sick" days and reminding you about upcoming projects are just some of the perks that those with work buddies have. Buds at work have the most fun, and it would behoove you to join them.
5, 4, 3
For you, advanced introverts here is a way to begin warming up to people in general and actually start feeling better about the day. Every day, there are times and places where you notice people, and they notice you as well. All I challenge you to do is to speak during five of those moments, for four days, for three weeks. It doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl, or if you say the same thing to each of them. It makes a difference. It seems like people do everything possible to avoid eye contact and talking to those riding along with them in elevators. However, as soon as one person opens up, it seems humanity momentarily rears its head, and positive responses always follow. Now, of course, I'm not instructing you to say something profane and ignorant, but something as small a commenting on the weather suffices just fine.
It's kind of a secret, but people like having their existence acknowledged. Who would have thought? Even a light compliment like "nice shoes" or "I like your hair" can really change the whole atmosphere around you. Giving people credit for things well done or unassuming services is also a great way to tackle this challenge. For instance, if I'm ever somewhere that requires a DJ and the music is good (usually a cause for a celebration), I always make a point to let them know so. There may be a security guard, receptionist, or even concierge that one "hey man, I just wanted to say you're doing a great job" can change everything.
By now, you're probably thinking, this sounds like it's helping others more than me. But try it and see. If their faces and demeanor afterward aren't enough, the sudden influx of compliments you start receiving will make you a believer. Fostering an environment of approachability and openness makes people gravitate to you. Soon you won't have to use contrite intros because by then, you would have mastered taking a genuine interest in people. When you go out of your home, you won't be a regular shmo glued to your cellphone in an obvious attempt to be left alone. You will be a citizen of the world, enjoying it, taking it in, and giving it back. Happy trails.