The most overused and under-appreciated word in the dictionary today is love. It seems as if love is a crazed fad rather than a term used to describe one’s feelings. Other descriptive words about feelings aren’t overused, so what makes the word love so different? Is it the context in which it is being used, or is it the action before that creates a need for its use?
It’s both. The term love has been made into a replacement to create a false illusion that people aren’t selfish. The definition of love is to passionately, righteously, and sacrificially pursue another’s wellbeing. Today, you could do one good deed for someone, and their response might be, Oh my God, I love you. Thank you so much. That’s not love. That’s the lust for whatever deed was just done for them.
Love is most of the time used in the place of lust. Lust is not just about sex. Lust is the yearning for something so bad that you would compromise your morals and values to have it. Lust can be stemmed from anything. Lust is similar to the supply and demand curve. The demand for lust increases as the supply of what is being lusted over decreases. This is why most men fear marriage. When a man and woman first meet and they begin the dating process, lust is the most prevalent factor. Lust is the very thing that drives the beginning of the relationship. Women thirst to feel secure and treasured, while men long to feel wanted, desired, and in charge. This is one of the reasons why men buy nice cars and pick up the tab at the restaurant. It’s the reason why women like to hold hands and be affectionate in public. It’s all lust.
Society’s connotation of lust deals primarily with sex. lust begins way before a relationship gets to that point. To lust for someone in a sexual way is to make a declaration that you are ready to love that person. If you have ever wondered why a man can move to woman to woman, but women can’t have multiple sex partners in such a nonchalant way, then here is your answer.
Women are built to respond to a man’s leadership; when a man pursues a woman, he’s not only pursuing her for him, but he is subconsciously presenting himself as a leader. The tab at the restaurant is a representation of him providing food for the household. He is showing the woman he is pursuing that if she chooses to follow him, then she will never go hungry because he is there to provide. The second he pulls up in that gorgeous automobile, he’s showing her that he will provide a means of transportation if she needs it.
Here is where the problem arises, and confusion is rooted. The word subconscious is exactly what it says, SUB-CONSCIOUS. Sub is a prefix, meaning under or beneath the surface. Conscious refers to your aware and sound mind. Subconscious actions happen under or beneath the aware part of the mind. With that being said, men don’t realize that when they pursue, they are unintentionally selling themselves as a leader for that woman. Women hone in on the message between the lines.
They intuitively look for the picture within the picture. Once they find the yellow brick road of subconscious leadership, their natural reaction is to shape their feelings and attitude to follow that man into a blissful relationship. This can contribute to women being led on and men being completely oblivious to it. So how do two people avoid this pre-disposed gender-specific way of thinking?
The answer is simple. Just state your intentions from the very beginning. It’s a bit cliché and much easier said than done, especially if one party is interested in a physical relationship without emotions. The fear of rejection is responsible for all of the missed opportunities that happen in life. The truth shall set you free. Men and women both respect honesty. It prevents hurt feelings and wasted time. Spell out the initial motives for attraction, and you may be surprised at the response you receive from the other party.