It's a new year, but have you found yourself hanging on to the same relationship baggage from the past? When it's time to clear your mental and emotional capacity, there are usually four types of women at the root of the problem, and here's our guide to getting past them.
The Unattainable Long-shot
Oh, we've been there. Spending weeks engaged in an Instagram cat-and-mouse game can be quite annoying after a while. The details aren't really important, but it all boils down to an embarrassingly large amount of consideration spent for someone who is literally hundreds of miles away. Being reduced to "random" likes and "peacocking" (gallivanting on social media to show that you are in fact desirable and have other options) aren't man's proudest moments, but direct methods have already been tried and failed.
Out of sight and out of mind seem to be the name of the game, and you are passively refusing to join her ever-growing fan club. But your tactics don't seem to be working. The only reason why you vaguely held out any hope is due to the genuine chemistry you witnessed when you initially met. But even now, it seems more like a distant memory. You could have come to terms with this if it wasn't for the thirst machine known as social media. For some strange tortuous reason, Facebook loves attaching her name to all notifications. Somehow all new friends, all wall posts, and suggestions have friends with *name that shall not be mentioned*.
You're interested, but you are getting tired of seeing them every day, but not seeing them every day. Like I said earlier, we've been there. The only thing you can do is to ignore that pretty face constantly flashing on your timeline and go about your business. Nowadays, the lives of acquaintances unfold before our very eyes, but it's actually an illusion of closeness. Don't fall for the mirage, and stay the course until you see the real thing.
The Yamp(s)
We briefly discussed this subject on the (PYT article) once before, but this seemingly endless well can leave you out to dry if you're negligent. This cycle is unlike the carbon or water ones; it does nothing to help those around them. It's just a dance that steps on the toes of every attempted relationship afterward. The reality of messing around with young girls is they just aren't enough of a challenge or on the same page maturity wise. A man with options can easily have them do his bidding, and it doesn't take long for things to get... well... boring. Have you ever played Madden with someone who's just fundamentally inept? You've been playing football games since NFL Quarterback Club (a true classic), so your knowledge of the game is on another level. They, on the other hand, are just mashing the buttons. As fun as it is to skunk noobs for the first few games, it gets rather annoying after a while. Of course, you are making them better, but the wins for you soon become very unsatisfying.
Now imagine if those are the only opponents you've faced for years. When someone who can actually play comes around, you take them lightly, and now you’re down big and down early. The best of the best can pull out the A-game and save themselves in a last-minute nail-biter, but most suffer the embarrassment of losing a game they should have won. We get it; you want your ego stroked, but be careful. Some rookies have beginner's luck and might beat you at your own game.
The Side-Chick(s)
Oh Side-Chick, how we like you so. If we didn't have a main, we could possibly entertain the thought of loving you... but... Nah. Truthfully, that's as good as it gets for the side-chick. Many think the side-chick is just a booty-call, but they are reliable emotional comfort too. They could have been a viable candidate at one time, but you chose another girl for some reason. Regardless of what caused it, if you actually care about them, let them go. We all like to have our cake and eat it, but if you cared about them, as you say, you should let them pursue another relationship like you have.
We often know that we would never date them, but we hold on to them because of their personality and loyalty to us (among other things). At the same time, it's doing major damage to their reputation and image. No guy wants another guy's sloppy seconds, and wifing someone's else known side chick is one of the most emasculating things a man can do to himself. Meanwhile, she is getting ridiculed as a home-wrecker in girls' circles, and everyone in her camp is probably telling her how stupid she looks. She's setting herself for a world of hurt when you are forced to choose between her and the girl you're actually with. So once again, if you care for her half as much as you say you do, let her off easy so that both can enjoy healthy relationships.
The Ex
Psychologists say that it takes at least 4-6 months to get over someone you were deeply involved with fully. We aren't going to sit and pretend that you can do this overnight, but we can give you some suggestions.
Don't try to be immediate friends. It's impossible, it's painful, and it always does more harm than good. Give each other space, and let things develop naturally.
Be respectful. In all dealings, treat her with respect even if you feel she is going overboard. Suck it up and take the high road. Nasty break-ups can only be nasty if two parties are involved. Hate is just as strong as love, and showing one is just as good as the other in break-ups. Leave all that on the table.
Write down why you broke up. Trust us; things can get a little foggy when you're alone pining for the good ol days. You broke up for a reason; stick to it.
Stop getting intimate. Break-up sex is the absolute worst thing you can do to yourself. Sure one last time feels awesome, but the passion of that last time will be an overwhelming fantasy that will haunt you for months to come. No prospective girl can compete with that. Chances for relapse are highly probable. Avoid at all costs.
We know all of this is a process because we understand for most no company is a good as a female company. Sometimes as men, we'll take toxicity over nothing, and that can put us in some precarious positions. We know you're strong enough to move on, and these are four women that you definitely need to leave in the dust.