"Superficial Millennial Blues" by David Pailin Jr.

I have an iPhone... a 6 Plus to be exact, but before you come for me and make any financial assessments... I will note that it's paid off (with no lease). As an owner of a once $749 piece of equipment I'm in a dilemma of sorts, and it doesn't involve Nelly or Kelly Rowland.

Glitches... and lots of them folks.

Two months into purchasing my iPhone I realized that I wasn't receiving texts from android users, to which I download Google Voice as a work-around. Since then my device has considerably slowed down, even after replacing the battery, and I wasn't surprised by headlines that substantiated a suspicion I had long since had... they were deliberately throttling performance.

Currently, my rear camera, the right side of my screen, and the touch identification have all become unresponsive, seemingly out of the blue. Not as the result of a fall or exposure to water, but after regular updates. Factory resets and intricate application detours are a daily routine as texting any word with a "p" in it has become the bain of my existence. I can't take it anymore, my hands are being forced, it's become blatantly obvious that I must buy another phone... but which one?

Conventional wisdom would say, go for a Samsung, Google, LG, or any other alternative, but that would also mean accepting the social downgrade that is associated with all of them as well.

Oh the embarrassment and inconvenience, when everyone's airdropping videos seamlessly after a social event, and I politely ask them to email the files because they're too large to text. Oh the discrimination, in the chat groups and third-party software, apps, and devices that I will no longer have access to because android numbers aren't compatible. Is my dissatisfaction with Apple's upgrade coercion worth total abandonment? What is the real cost?

It's a tough place to be in when significant amounts of money are about to be spent... quickly.

As a glorified salesman, many of my purchases are to make my business transactions that much easier, and while functionality is the priority, I sense large disadvantages in my day-to-day interactions. Outward perception or personal satisfaction? Indignation or conformity? In a way, this underlying yet unsettling disconnect is exactly how I feel about so many organizations, systems, and products in my life, but I'm slightly afraid to review all the areas that I'm selectively counter-cultural or not.

I feel like the only difference between choosing one's battles and hypocrisy is what you're fighting for at the end of the day, so if and when you see me with any form of systematic, organizational, or physical iPhone, please pray that it's the best way to express what I have to say. All retweets are not endorsements.