"The Haux-Fax" by Lothario

Did You Do Your Research?

Have you ever been with someone that became less attractive the more you found out about them? At first, they were this perfect person that could do no wrong, but now their skeletons are coming out; and some of them are bigger than yours. The naive man has to deal with this in the heat of an involved relationship, but the Plutocrat knows what he’s getting into well beforehand. Enter the Haux-Fax.

What is a Haux-fax, you ask? It’s the unabridged history of a female love interest as it pertains to a man. A brief one might entail her sexual history, but serious ones might call for more information. This is the first and last resource any best friend has in trying to deter a buddy from “turning a __ into a housewife.” It’s true she can be promiscuous on paper and change her ways, but how much should you invest in chasing her? There are only two main histories that men care about.

 The first is the “good girl,” and the history you want to find when you pull up the report.:

  • Great family

  • Respectable job/career

  • Very few partners, if any at all

  • Only intimate with boyfriends

  • Very selective in who they date

  • All ex’s exes are guys you could actually respect

For these girls, you know that the standards for these girls are high because they have always been that way. Every bit of work you put in is well deserved because not every Tom, Dick, and Harry gets to her. Above all lame tricks, pick-up lines, and throwing around money won’t impress her.  Here you actually want to find out more about her because her business isn’t out on the streets, and you know it’s not easy to come by.

The second is the history you might not want to find out, but need to know:

  • Family issues

  • Job objectifies her for other men

  • Multiple partners or hooks up with random people

  • Dated a little bit of everything

  • Several sub-par boyfriends that treated her terribly

She may or may not have changed her ways, but there is a certain amount of scar tissue that comes with each one of those points. Some have handled it gracefully, others not so much. But walking into this blindly is quite possibly one of the most foolhardy things a man can do.

While it is often true that struggle builds character, it is not necessarily a required characteristic of a good catch. In reality, the amount of dirt a girl may have done may pale in comparison to you, but the truth is that the stakes can be way higher for her.

The Haux-fax allows a man to seriously consider two things; if they could ever be serious and if she’s worth the effort of pursuing. Both are important, especially in dealing with girls in the second category. Some are completely honest about it and embrace that they are more casual than other girls, but more often than not they will act as if they are girls in the first category. 

This is fine and dandy to the male who isn’t accustomed to dating girls in the first category and is in the second category himself. But to put it simply, highly sought-after men rarely marry the second category. There is no need to. Sure they may choose to entertain them from time to time, but being attached to someone with a reputation for being indiscriminate with partners is borderline absurd to men who already enjoy exclusivity in all other areas of their life.

It’s also a sign of weakness. It gives the perception that women with more discretion, self-discipline, and selectivity are out of their reach. There is no exclusivity when it comes to loose women. While they might be able to keep their wits about them around lesser men, around powerful and influential men all their inhibitions go by the wayside and so does their allegiance to you. They quickly develop a reputation of jumping from one to another, completely unfazed by how familiar they are with each other.

With the haux-fax you are made aware of this, before the humiliating “she’s smashed the homies” talk is had. If you’re thinking about getting serious pay close attention to the friends or lack their of in her circle and the stories they share about her. Bring her around your friends and ask them if they noticed anything different when you were out the room.

As men we all have blindspots and sometimes when we’ve invested time and money, we don’t want to hear the truth, and certainly don’t want to act on it. Limit the unnecessary drama in your life and do your due diligence before becoming too invested in any relationship, especially a romantic one. Do the haux-fax early to save yourself from heartache and embarrassment.